


He Couldn't Remember

by xTylar_Writes_Thingsx



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Eating Disorders, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insanity, Memory Loss, Wilbur is dead, poor Tommy, tommys exile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28089522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xTylar_Writes_Thingsx/pseuds/xTylar_Writes_Thingsx
Summary: Tommy has trouble remembering his friends and home. But he's not going insane... is he?
Comments: 3
Kudos: 121





	He Couldn't Remember

**Author's Note:**

> This is supposed to be very confusing, like Tommy’s thoughts. After all, the definition of insanity is repeating something over and over again and expecting different results. Also, this is my first post on Ao3 and I'm new at writing, so any criticism is greatly appreciated!

Had it been years since his exile from his soi-disant home? He could not remember. 

Recollections of bloodshed and tears raced through his head, performing a woeful melody of the Grim Reaper’s music disk. He had been traveling as one would in his position, orchestrating for his return home. He was going home, right? Was he ostracized? Huh. He could not remember. 

Oh, but he had a plan to get home! The masked man gave him this. He could utilize this! He will turn over L’Manberg just like he did SMPEarth! His friend will be so proud of him! Friend? Did he have a friend? He could not remember. 

He recollects SMPEarth. The bureaucracy with Wilbur, the Antarctic imperium with Techno, TimeDeo, and his father Phil. There was one other individual. It was a haze, blurry with the ticking of the ancestor clock. He could see the outline of a minuscule boy screaming in fear as he blew up his old home, tears trailing down his face. Was this one of his friends? He could not remember. 

Back in SMPEarth, they had labeled him as ‘insane’ and 'a menace to society.’ Oh. He recollects. This is not the first time he has been exiled. He was coerced to leave SMPEarth. Techno and Phil stayed, while Wilbur and that boy followed him. They had walked for days, endeavoring to find a new home. They had come across that masked man, and he offered a place to stay and live. He recollects that the boy had been trepidacious of him, so he changed himself. He changed himself into a jubilant, aggressive, and fun mess that would tease everyone. Wait, was this not his genuine personality? He could not remember. 

He recollects years had passed and his unauthentic spuriousness perpetuated. He had trouble coping, so he carved the words ‘happy’ into his arm to remind himself. He recollects engaging the other people of the masked man’s dwelling. Everyone had pronounced him entertaining. Entertaining, is that not a neutral term? Regaling is frolicsome for a while, then you discard it after you have had enough of it. Is that not what transpired in SMPEarth? He could not remember. 

One of the masked man's friends had played a jest, however it escalated and burned one of their residences down. They inculpated him when he did not even commit the crime. Well, it is to be expected. He is he, a boy shrouded in riddles and self-destructiveness. They are they, a group of radical thinkers constructing a shelter for themselves. He recollects the masked man getting mad and how he endeavored to take his disks. He doted those disks. They were the only things leftover from SMPEarth, his only remaining possession. It sparked a war, composing the nation of L’Manberg. He recollects that blissful time, Wilbur, Eret, Fundy, Niki, and that boy. They struggled and succumbed to the masked man yet they were happy. Alike a family. However Eret pressed that button. It always ends in buttons. Buttons. Buttons buttons buttons buttons. Had he been the one to apostatize them? He could not remember.

Wilbur felt like a dictator, so he hosted an election. He was so intoxicated on power that he believed he would acquire supremacy. But the two other candidates merged their votes, leading triumphant over Wilbur. His first decree was to ostracize Wilbur and him. Fundy and that boy joined the president, operating undercover. He and Wilbur had hidden out in a cave and formed Pogtopia, and Techno came to avail them. Wilbur went insane, much homogeneous to how he himself was all those years ago. He hurt the boy. He still had the cicatrices from Wilbur’s mad rampages. He felt dirty, so so so dirty. They went to the festival, and Wilbur was going to blow it up. A carbon replica of himself. Techno virtually killed that boy, and he recollects being very mad. He execrates Techno. So much. Wilbur went to blow it up but could not recollect where the button room was. Buttons again? He could not remember. 

He recollects the vice president joining them, and recollects that bond between people that have both been abused. They composed another revolt and set out of the 16th for the war. The president died, and Wilbur made him the president. He did not optate this leadership. He wanted to fixate on his disks so he made that boy the president. Wilbur blew it up, and Phil killed Wilbur, his own father. Wilbur was dead. Was he though? He could not remember. 

They had reconstituted L’Manberg on stilts and engendered a great nation again. He had made an incipient friend named Ranboo. He was nice. He verbalized with him when he was alive, Ranboo was dead. Did that boy kill him? He could not remember. 

He and Ranboo went and ravaged the shaded ocular perceiver man’s house. They did not mean to set it on fire, it was a contingency. The masked man kenned this, but still, his evil spirit wanted him gone so deplorably he pressed for exilement. He recollects ebony walls and everyone turning against him. The boy expatriated him, his third time. Shouldn’t that boy ken of the pain of recollections that exilement gives him? He could not remember. 

He recollects the masked man leading him to a desolate island, building him a small incave. He had a friend with him, he could see Wilbur’s spirit. Everyone else could not, but that is only because Wilbur relished him. He is not mad, was he? He could not remember.

No one had visited him, only Ranboo left a note once in a while when he was still alive. He kenned what the masked man was doing. It was textbook psychology of a manipulative and abusive relationship. Burning all his resources and bonding with him, exhibiting him benevolence then tearing him asunder. To get him to crawl back to the masked man like an animal. He kenned this was all a ploy for the masked man to get something, but what could he do? He was the only one who authentically cared about him. The masked man was the only one to emerge to his beach party and was the one who told him about how Tubbo burnt his compass. The masked man stopped him from being swallowed up by flames, from bleeding out of his arm from the ‘happy’ words. So of course he owed the masked man a favour, right?

The man asked him to do something, he is holding it in his hand. He told the masked man about what he did to SMPEarth. The boy who expatriated him is holding yet another election. The masked man gave him these things to prove that he could recollect. He kens he is not insane, he kens that this will have a different outcome than the last times. Irony, in the form of perpetual history, would be the downfall of those who turned him away when he was in need. Those who expatriated him without hesitance. The boy whom he wanted his guts to burst out and coat the podium in red. He has been lying to himself this whole time, he just didn’t want to admit it.

He could remember after all.

He pressed the button.


End file.
